A popular topic at the moment on the expectant mummy forums that I read, Bellybelly and What To Expect, is finding out your baby's gender. It seems that the majority of Mummies In Progress out there are keen to find out ASAP whether they will be having a little boy or a little girl in 2012!
Today's post is inspired by Dennelle over at I guess this means we're pregnant, who tomorrow will be finding out the gender of her beloved little Bean! Her post today is, in part, about her excitement to be finding out her baby's gender tomorrow, her deep desire to be having a boy, how people judge her for having a preference for her baby's gender, and how people who say they have no preference are talking BS.
Her post really got me thinking about it all and prompted me to leave a comment long enough to be a post on its own. (Sorry Dennelle!)
According to the forums, The Man and I seem to be in the minority by choosing to wait until this sprog drops before finding out if it has boy bits or girl bits. We like the idea of a surprise.
For this pregnancy I have absolutely no preference on gender, and that's not BS. Although The Man seems to have a preference for another little princess to join his gaggle of children, I want a boy and I equally want a girl and, by the laws of reproduction, the odds are entirely in my favour to be having one or the other. Therefore, for this pregnancy anyway, the gender of my offspring is kind of a non-issue.
I think if I already had one child then I would probably have a gender preference towards the opposite of what I already had. But at the moment I'm just thrilled to be having something, rather than nothing!
I believe that the person that my child is and ends up being is much more important than what's between their legs. I'm not into the "gender appriopriateness" of colours or toys. If my boy wants to wear pink and play with dolls, I'm ok with that. Or if my girl wants to play football and tinker with cars with her dad, that's cool too!
By keeping our baby's gender a surprise, we are hoping too to limit the barrage of gender appropriate clothes, blankets, toys, etc. that I'm sure people will feel the need to purchase for us. Not being ungrateful, just noting that when a baby's gender is announced it tends to influence what kinds of presents people buy. I would rather have a closet full of green and yellow than blue and pink.
I want my child to be worldly and have a broad perspective of the world.
I want my child to be a good and kind human being, regardless of their gender.
I want my child to be more than just Pink or Blue.
What do you think? Do you, or did you, have a gender preference? Did you not get what you were hoping for? What's your story?
About Me
- Yaeli
- Currently growing one head, two hands, and two feet inside me, I am a Mummy In Progress. I am a registered nurse and run my own (very un-busy) business providing health education and consultancy at a community and corporate level. This blog aims to chronicle the trials and triumphs of my journey as a MIP, and help me connect with other MIP's and mothers out there!
I agree with you actually. I never wanted to find out about Beans bits. I always thought it was the best surprise. When B wanted to find out I caved. he never asks for anything and that has been his only request throughout my pregnancy so far. He wanted that extra connection and I was so touched at how into Bean he was.
ReplyDeleteOn the flip side now that I agreed to find out it is an obsession I wish didn't exist. I think even though we are finding out the sex I tend to be gender neutral rather than pink or blue. So many people get caught up in the stigma or princess' and cars ect. I want to raise a human being not a blue boy or a pink girl.
There are actually types of parenting that are based on equalization and non gender specific. Meaning that toys and colors, furniture is not limited just because it falls to one gender over the other.
In my opinion girls seem to be able to get away with being tom boys and playing in the dirt much easier than little boys can play dress up. Its not fair that boys get called gay or scolded by older males for being a "girl". What is wrong with boys playing house and exploring who they are as young people. There is more to life than a gender or even an age for that matter.
Sorry my post has been so long, just my opinion hope that helps.
I believe that MOST people (secretly) prefer one gender over the other. I know I'll have 2-3 kids so I know I want one of each. For this pregnancy I wanted girl because I would know I had my girl. I know several families that have boy after boy and had wished for a girl. That is my fear, a house full of guys and no other female to relate to and do girl things with. But, I had a boy. I love him, though, and after having him I didn't care that he wasn't a girl. Now for the next baby it will be obvious what I'd prefer, but if I get another boy I won't be mad or upset because that is what I would be meant to have.
ReplyDeleteAs far as colors, I HATE the standard "pink for girl, blue for boy." In fact, I hate the colors pink, purple, and blue. I too would prefer green. For the next pregnancy I would want to wait until the birth day to see what I am having, but my husband doesn't want to wait. But if it's a girl I'm going to say "limit the pink!"
You know, I was talking to my Aunty who is a theatre nurse (does lots of c-sections) about this recently and she said that she's noticed a real trend of people not finding out as compared to say 5-10 years ago when nearly everyone did. Interesting, I wonder if it's significantly different between Australia and the US?
ReplyDeleteThat said, I would totally find out, not because I have a preference either way - like you, this is our first, maybe with subsequent pregnancies I'd feel more strongly - but because I'm not really one for surprises and I'd just like to know that little bit more about our little bubba. Like twopinklines above, A does not want to know and because he doesn't ask for much, I'm going with not knowing too!